The stress of modern life puts a strain on our relationships. Although you may know this, you may not be able to tell the difference between normal strain and when things just aren’t working in your own relationship. You may think the signs of strain are because of your job, living situation, or other family members. Here are the top 10 signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship:

  1. Staying for the children. If you feel you’re staying in the relationship only to keep your family together, it’s time to examine why. You model the pattern for your children’s future relationships, so if yours isn’t healthy, it’s time to seek change.
  2. Feeling sad and frustrated with your partner. Although your feelings about your partner may be justified, it isn’t healthy to be feeling this way most of the time. Your partner may not be living up to your expectations, and the reasons why need to be examined and addressed.
  3. Feeling powerless in your relationship. If your partner is making all the choices, you could be feeling powerless in your relationship. It could be because your partner is overly domineering, or it may be because you’re allowing him or her to “walk all over you.”
  4. No influence on your partner. If you’ve tried to get your partner to change things you don’t like, but never make any headway, it’s time to examine why. You and your partner need to work together to resolve issues rather than place blame.
  5. Your needs not being met. When needs are not being met in a relationship, it could be your partner either isn’t able or willing to meet them. Rather than harboring frustration and resentment, you need to discuss the reasons you feel this way with your partner.
  6. Constant arguing. Constant arguing is a sign of underlying problems or an unhealthy relationship. Although you or your partner may harbor resentments against each other, you also could be suffering from issues of self-esteem.
  7. Thoughts of ending the relationship. Constantly thinking about ending the relationship is a sign that it’s unhealthy. Your conscious mind is trying to find a way out of a bad situation. Although this doesn’t mean the relationship must end, it does mean that the reasons behind these thoughts need to be discovered and addressed.
  8. Feeling invisible. You should never feel invisible in a relationship since it’s about two people. You may feel submerged in the identity of your partner or identities of your children. Feeling submerged may have caused you to lose track of who you really are.
  9. Taken for granted. If you notice that the things you do and effort you put into your relationship isn’t being reciprocated by your partner, then it makes you feel taken for granted. It could be your partner thinks you’re so smitten with him or her that there’s no need to reciprocate. Your partner needs to know how you feel in order to make the changes your unhealthy relationship needs.
  10. Not feeling special or important. We all need to feel special or important in our relationships. Although everyday life presents challenges, we all need to take time to nurture those we love. Knowing what makes your partner feel special and important is key to maintaining a longstanding relationship.

If you recognize some of these signs in your relationship, it could be unhealthy or may just be getting off track. Either way, lines of communication need to be opened between you and your partner and your dissatisfied feelings examined. If you need help deciding what to do, please call us today for a free consultation.