Going to see a therapist has long been stigmatized in our culture. Over and over again those who go to a therapist are portrayed as “crazies”. They go every week and have dark thoughts or are extreme germaphobes, but that just isn’t the case. Some clients do have the more major needs that a weekly session benefits but the majority have smaller problems that are much easier to deal with in the presence of a licensed professional. While we suggest building a relationship with the therapist by attending multiple counseling sessions so they can get to know you, many clients report that after a...

Going to see a therapist has long been stigmatized in our culture. Over and over again those who go to a therapist are portrayed as “crazies”. They go every week and have dark thoughts or are extreme germaphobes, but that just isn’t the case. Some clients do have the more major needs that a weekly session benefits but the majority have smaller problems that are much easier to deal with in the presence of a licensed professional. While we suggest building a relationship with the therapist by attending multiple counseling sessions so they can get to know you, many clients report that after a...

When a family member or friend suffers from depression, your support and encouragement can play an important role in his or her recovery. However, depression can also wear you down if you neglect your own needs. Today, as your trusted Simi Valley counselors, we’re giving you a few guidelines that can help you support a depressed person while maintaining your own emotional equilibrium.

One of the first things is learning about depression and how to talk about it with your friend or family member. Remember, depression is a serious but treatable disorder that affects millions of people,...

Traumatic stress occurs as a result of traumatic events in your life or the lives of others. It can result from war, an accident, or even a natural disaster. Symptoms of trauma can be crippling and difficult to overcome. Your sense of security has been shattered leaving you feeling helpless and vulnerable. How can you begin coping with trauma? Should you try to deal with it on your own?

SEEK PROFESSIONAL...

Learning how to say no is important. Some people are able to handle many demands on their time with ease. That doesn’t mean you are one of those people. We all have our own threshold for stress and handle things differently. In order to avoid becoming overburdened and resentful, learn how to say no.

ACCEPT YOUR TIME LIMITS

Realize you only have so much time....

No one wants to be hurt. Does it seem like it’s always happening to you? Are you now afraid to take chances? How can you get over your fear and move on? Although life is full of disappointments, positive opportunities await. You have more control than you think. Altering your perceptions can help you break negative cycles and attract positive energy and people into your life.

Accept other people’s limitations. One way to move past being hurt is by accepting other people’s limitations. We...

Are you on a diet roller coaster and you’re never able to get off? Have you been trying to lose weight, but after losing it soon find yourself adding the pounds back on? Chances are you’re suffering from emotional eating problems. Emotional Eating Emotional eating happens when you eat in response to feelings instead of hunger. According to Medicinenet.com, “experts estimate that 75 percent of overeating is caused by emotions.” A variety of things may trigger you to overeat. Some examples are stress,...

The stress of modern life puts a strain on our relationships. Although you may know this, you may not be able to tell the difference between normal strain and when things just aren’t working in your own relationship. You may think the signs of strain are because of your job, living situation, or other family members. Here are the top 10 signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship:

1. Staying for the children. If you feel you’re staying in the relationship only to keep your family together,...

What do you think of when you think of anger management? Someone who has a problem with his or her temper and needs to manage it – for other people?

That’s accurate, but it’s not the whole story. If you’ve got a problem with anger, you have to learn how to manage it for your own benefit.

ANGER CAN BE A POSITIVE EMOTION IN THE SHORT TERM

Not all anger is bad. It can be a healthy if temporary response to perceived wrongdoing by someone else, and a catalyst for change. But if not managed properly, it can threaten your physical and emotional well-being.

DO YOU TRULY...

Codependency is a term which most people use casually, without realizing how serious and debilitating it can be. But codependency is much more harmful and prevalent than people realize, affecting the majority of Americans in a way that eats away at their quality of life. It can turn them into self-loathing control freaks who have little chance of ever achieving emotional intimacy. Sounds pretty ugly, right? It is. Codependents have willfully given up their self-esteem to others, seeking validation through the eyes of people around them.

WHAT IS CODEPENDENCY?

Codependents are...

In a society so focused on youth and appearance, it can be hard to maintain a good self image while aging. People, especially women, are expected to stay eternally thin and youthful. This means having the smooth skin and tight body of a fit 20 something way past a woman’s twenties.

REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

The first step to maintaining a positive self image is to have realistic expectations. That means admitting that even when a person takes excellent care of their skin and body they will not have the youthful appearance of a young adult into their middle age years and beyond....

Licensed marriage family therapists provide individual counseling as well as couples counseling and family counseling. Often new clients wonder what individual counseling is like. Sometimes clients will come in with a prior counseling experience. I will explore with new clients if their experiences were positive or negative. I will assess and evaluate what created either a positive or negative experience in counseling so that I can most effectively work with a client to create a positive experience. It is my goal to work with clients in a style that works best for them.

I HAVE...

We all make excuses from time to time, without even realizing it. We often have a false sense of what is truly important to us by our priority list. Much of how we can evaluate this list is to look at how much time and money we are expending upon those priorities. We can also look at our priorities by the things we think about and invest our emotions towards. So our false sense of priorities and our list of excuses work together to get in the way to overcome and break through to reach our goals.

Having support to overcome excuses is very valuable in getting to a place emotionally...

Remember how nice and organized your home was when you first moved in and neatly arranged all of your furniture and decorations before the clutter encroached? It can be that way again if you decide to get your house organized. Here are some tips to get started.

Accept The Space You Have

A common misconception among those with clutter in their homes is that if they just had more room, they could keep it tidy. What actually occurs in those cases is they just have more space to accumulate more clutter. Take a good look around your home and acknowledge its space limitations. Then...

The pressures of life cause people to lose sight of the big picture plan for their lives in favor of the day-to-day. In order to find balance in your life and push towards the goals that matter, you must organize and balance your time. With a simple plan for the future, you can start getting closer to where you want to be.

1. OUTLINE YOUR GOALS

The very first step is knowing exactly what you want to accomplish. Vague goals mean you can only have vague...

Licensed marriage family therapists provide individual counseling as well as couples counseling and family counseling. Often new clients wonder what individual counseling is like. Sometimes clients will come in with a prior counseling experience. I will explore with new clients if their experiences were positive or negative. I will assess and evaluate what created either a positive or negative experience in counseling so that I can most effectively work with a client to create a positive experience. It is my goal to work with clients in a style that works best for them.

I HAVE...

We all make excuses from time to time, without even realizing it. We often have a false sense of what is truly important to us by our priority list. Much of how we can evaluate this list is to look at how much time and money we are expending upon those priorities. We can also look at our priorities by the things we think about and invest our emotions towards. So our false sense of priorities and our list of excuses work together to get in the way to overcome and break through to reach our goals.

Having support to overcome excuses is very valuable in getting to a place emotionally...

Struggling with depression is difficult and not something anyone should have to deal with alone. Unfortunately, the very nature of depression can make it difficult for those suffering to reach out and get help. That is just what needs to be done though. People recover from depression everyday, reclaiming their joy and peace of mind. In order to do so, it is important to address all possible causes of feeling depressed. They can be multiple, including chemical imbalance and other health issues,...

Anxiety affects men and women of all ages from all different walks of life. Symptoms can range from mild to severe, and can be debilitating, affecting a person’s ability to work and engage in many day-to-day activities. It can often be undiagnosed, and the person may be unaware that he or she is suffering from anxiety. Symptoms can range from physical: Shortness of breath, pounding heart, even chest pain, to emotional: fear, worry, irritability. Once identified, anxiety is treatable. There are many techniques that can be used to help alleviate the symptoms of anxiety, both with medication...

Saving your marriage takes commitment and sacrifice from both people involved. If you both don’t want to make real changes and come together to create a healthy relationship, your chances aren’t great. But the good news is that all it takes is a willingness to try in order to make some headway. Here are some of the things you’ll have to face if you want to save your marriage:

Taking a Close Look at the Flaws

One of the most important things you and your spouse will need to do is take a serious look at the flaws in your relationship so that you can figure out how to iron those...

Anyone who has ever been a step parent, or a step child, knows that this can be very tricky and challenging territory. Although it can go quite smoothly for some families, in many cases, blended families can really struggle. Each family and individual is different, but there are some universal techniques that can truly help these relationships go more smoothly, and even flourish.

BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR STEP CHILD

Relationships take work, and they don’t...

How do I make myself happy? It is more than a simple question that one may ask when standing in front of a mirror. It actually can be the beginning of a new exciting adventure into reflecting on many of the triggers that governs good moods or bad moods. But happiness is more than moods as much as it is also a life pattern of actions that one takes in dealing with people and how positive interaction can set you on a path to have a great day and week.

Take Responsibility

While it may seem much easier to point the finger of responsibility at...

Few things can cause trouble in a marriage like money and budgeting woes. This is particularly true when one partner seems to spending a great deal of money that the other feels should be going into savings or otherwise being set aside for a rainy day. Unless the couple can come together and discuss money and budgeting in an open manner, the spending will eventually create a great deal of anger and frustration. Rather than allowing things to get to that point, the two of you must come to terms on how to curb the spending and...

When someone says Happy Valentine’s Day do you feel happy or do you feel depressed?

Valentine’s Day is typically a time when couples or families will celebrate love towards each other. People will share in special dinners, giving gifts of chocolate and flowers or offering special foot massages to their partner. If Valentine’s Day is not an enjoyable holiday time for you to reflect on love… Why is that? Maybe you’re having relationship problems that prevent you from enjoying this fun day. I would encourage you to take the month of February to look at the relationships in your life...

The power to negotiate is very useful. Negotiations take place in business and in relationships. I think most of us understand this concept of negotiating from an imagined attorneys view or business model, however, what I am pointing out is how we have the opportunity to participate in negotiations in our personal relationships. This begins with getting to know another person and what they need or want. This also begins with knowing your own needs and wants so that you can congruently express them.

This actually will require “Communication”, yes that long dragged out word...